Shopping
by Johanna Edelstein
Summary: King Candy and Sour Bill go shopping. Comedy ensues. Oneshot, prompt. Fluff, no smut.


**Just a quick A/N, I love love love you guys so much! I'm so glad you all like my stories.**

**Sickfic is coming up next, then one where KC meets SB's family.**

**Prompt: Imagine your OTP shopping. Person A demands Person B push them in the cart. They whip around corners, taking out displays of products. They probably get kicked out.**

**I think it's obvious who insists on riding in the shopping cart.**

Sour Bill stood on tiptoes, reaching for a box of Lucky Charms with no avail. He scowled, annoyed at his own diminutive stature.

Out of nowhere, a hand reached over and grabbed it for him. When Sour Bill looked up, he found himself looking in King Candy's chocolate eyes and the world disappeared. When Sour Bill finally tore his eyes away, he blushed and tried to cover.

"C-can I have the cereal box please?"

King Candy quickly recognized Sour Bill's embarrassment and decided to exploit it.

"I'll give it to you," He held the box out of Sour Bill's reach, and added in a sing song voice, "if you kithth me!" King Candy pushed out his lips in an exaggerated kissing face.

Sour Bill flushed brighter, "What grade are you in? You're acting like a child."

"Why not? Are you embarrassed by me?" King Candy pulled a fake pouty face.

"No, I just…"

"Yeth?"

"Must you do this here? People are looking."

King Candy and Bill looked both down the isle. It was empty save for an old woman and a mother with a toddler, all focused on finding the right cereal that they weren't paying any attention to the king and the candy looking at them. The monarch's gaze went back to his ex assistant.

"I don't thee anyone but you hoohoo~" King Candy's gaze returned to his ex assistant.

Sour Bill's face flushed once more, "Just give me the cereal, you're embarrassing me."

"Only if you kithth me!" King Candy spoke with a teasing tone in his voice.

Sour Bill sighed, giving in, "Fine, get down here."

"I thaid you kithth me, thilly Billy, not me kithth you! Why don't you get up here."

Sour Bill scowled, reaching the limit of his patience, "How am I supposed to get up there?"

"Let me pick you up." King Candy said.

"You can't be serious!" Sour Bill started nervously laughing, until he saw the look in King Candy's eyes. He moaned internally and gave in.

"Fine." He muttered.

King Candy snatched up the shorter man and brought their lips together. After what Sour Bill judged to be an appropriate amount of time, he tried to push the taller man off of him, but King Candy instead pulled him even closer.

After a few more attempts to push away from the enthusiastic monarch, Sour Bill finally gave up and let the ruler kiss him. King Candy began giggling when he realized Sour Bill had stopped fighting him, which caused the green candy to start laughing too.

Finally King Candy broke the kiss and the two men dissolved into hysterical laughter. When they managed to calm their demented giggles, they looked up to find the other three people in the isle looking at them with shocked expressions.

King Candy waved at them and began yelling and pointing at Sour Bill, "I love him! We're dating! He'th my boyfriend and I love him!" while Sour Bill squealed and grabbed at his arm, trying to get him to stop and blushing like crazy. The mother scooped up her toddler and walked away hurriedly, while the old woman smiled over at the couple and went back to looking for the right box of cereal.

The enthusiastic monarch stopped yelling and finally surrendered the box. Sour Bill snatched it away before his king could change his mind, threw it into the cart and led the way around the corner.

Just as they walked past an isle full of toys, King Candy ran off. Sour Bill pulled the cart to a halt and waited. Why the monarch have to be so childish? It was as if he didn't see that other people had schedules to keep. Suddenly he was pulled from his thoughts by the sight of King Candy skipping back over to him, hands behind his back and grinning like a maniac.

"What's that?" Sour Bill asked. King Candy responded by grinning wider and showing him.

In each hand, King Candy was carrying a plush toy. In his right, he held a King Candy toy, accurate from his golden crown down to his gumdrop slippers. With his left hand, he gripped a Sour Bill plushie. As soon as Sour Bill's mind registered the toys, he immediately knew what King Candy was going to do.

"Don't." Sour Bill said, although he had already reached the conclusion that whatever he objected to, the juvenile dynast would instantly decide to do. He was correct.

King Candy immediately put the doll's faces together and made kissy noises with his mouth. Sour Bill facepalmed.

Suddenly King Candy threw the toys over his shoulders. Sour Bill was about to begin lecturing the taller man on proper store etiquette when he caught the look on King Candy's face and stopped. It was the look of an idea forming. An idea that would most likely get them in trouble.

"No. Whatever you're thinking, we aren't doing it." King Candy ignored his quondam minion, pushed past him and approached the cart.

"Leave the cart alone, Candy." King Candy threw a leg into the basket.

"Don't do it!" He heaved his body in.

"Don't go there, Candy!" The king swung his other leg into the cart and got himself comfortable amongst the assorted groceries.

"What are you doing?" King Candy looked over at the short ball and finally answered him.

"Push me." He said simply.

"What?" Sour Bill couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You heard me. Push the cart." King Candy said, smile on his face.

Sour Bill considered objecting. But he wanted King Candy to be happy. And this seemed the easiest way to do it. It wasn't like they would go too fast or take out any displays.

"Fine." Bill said, defeat in his voice.

Sour Bill began pushing the king along. As they went, they got some weird looks but King Candy had a silly grin on his face and as long as his king was happy, Sour Bill didn't mind.

They were reaching the end of their shopping list and King Candy was growing increasingly hyper. He had started kicking the front of the basket and wringing his hands.

Sour Bill added the last of the essentials (marshmallows) to the basket and made his way around the front of the cart.

"Now what would you like to do?"

King Candy pulled Sour Bill in for a quick kiss then added, "Push me."

Sour Bill furrowed his brows, "Isn't that what I've been doing?"

"I want to go fathter! Thpeed it up, Billy!" Sour Bill smiled at his king and whispered to him, "As you wish."

…

They went careening around corners, taking out displays. The store manager chased after them, along with a posse of employees. King Candy giggled with delight and screamed, "Fathter! Fathter!"

Sour Bill huffed and jumped onto the back of the cart for a little rest.

"I'm going as fast as I can, Candy." Sour Bill whispered in King Candy's ear.

King Candy turned his head and whispered back, "They're gonna catch uth if you don't get off and run." Sour Bill rolled his eyes and went back to running.

Suddenly they raced the candy isle and King Candy was screaming at Sour Bill, "Back! Go back!" The green ball spun the cart around and sprinted down the candy isle. The king stood up in the cart and reached an arm out, knocking candy off the shelves.

As the store employees tripped over bags of chocolate and Jolly Ranchers, King Candy screamed at the top of his lungs, "HAVE THOME CANDY!"

…

They got off relatively easy. The police allowed them to purchase the groceries that had been in the cart at the time, as well as pay for the damage done to the store. The manager yelled at them a bit, accusing King Candy of being a maniac. They were told never to come within 20 feet of the store and were promptly kicked out.

As the police led them outside, the two diminutive men gripping their grocery bags, Sour Bill turned to his king, scowl on his face.

"Are you happy now?"

King Candy stared straight ahead, a slight smile on his face.

Sour Bill revised, "Was it worth it?"

The officers let them go and went back inside.

King Candy turned to his annoyed assistant and knelt. He pulled him in for a short kiss, and then smiled.

"Yeth, it wath. You do tho much for me and I actually apprethiate it. Thank you tho much Bill."

Sour Bill had a bewildered expression on his face until it was replaced by a tiny smile. That's all he had been wanting to hear.

Sour Bill gripped the king by his bowtie and kissed him fully.

When he pulled away, he whispered, "Thank you."

**The End.**


End file.
